What Happened In 2019

by - 19:20

As I am about to dive into a summary about my year I am looking through my photos from the last twelve months and realizing how much has changed since then but also feeling grateful for the stable things in my life that have remained the same. It has been a really important year in my life.

One of the hardest things this year was the fact that my best friend who I went to school with and then continued to live in England with, moved to the literal other side of the world. I was really trying to get myself ready for his departure but it hit me really hard. As Joey from Friends would say 'he is a big leaver!'. Me and Vojta kinda grew up together from teenage, art college friends to (somewhat) responsible adults living abroad. But I guess this is life and you cannot stop your friends from travelling and having fun! :)

I have also had quite a few friends from Czech republic visiting me and that always made me really happy as I no longer have any friends from my country here. It really made me realise how much I miss speaking my language and that I need that connection to my culture. But even now I still haven't made any new Czech friends so the only time I speak the language is over facetime and to myself when I am angry...and at my boyfriend when I am swearing, of course.

If you live here in the UK then maybe you remember those few days in February when it was sunny and 15 degrees? That was so weird and one of those days was actually my birthday so for the first time in my life I wore a dress for my birthday. I loved it but obviously it's due to global warming so nothing to celebrate. I guess we have to make the most of it (bad joke?). Right after my birthday I went to Salamanca in Spain to visit another friend from college who has lived there for a few years now, I loved spending time with her and her housemates, they were lovely and very chatty which is my kind of people. I soaked the sunshine and tried to speak Spanish but it was a big fail at this point. It was also really cool to be in such an old city where there are no new buildings whatsover.

A couple months into 2019 I have noticed how sad I was and I couldn't remember how long I felt like that and if it's been a week, month or even longer. I was getting frustrated with everything and I cried a lot. Worst of all I was disappointed with myself which in hind sight makes me really sad. I have definitely put too much pressure on myself and felt very lonely. I decided to get therapy. This wasn't a difficult decision to make. I was comfortable with going to therapy or talking about it and I am smart enough to know it is nothing to be ashamed of. If you don't know how therapy works then in my instance, I had an assesment where I was asked all kinds of questions about my life and then two weeks later I was assigned a therapist. My therapist was a foreigner just like me which I really liked. It felt easy to explain my feelings about being homesick etc. Now a lot of things that happened this year during the time I was going to therapy and many decisions that I made throughtout the year are probably thanks to going there for six months. I really needed to get a lot of things off my chest and I have used it as a tool to make myself accountable to reach different goals that I have set for myself. It really showed me how much there was to reveal about the relationship with myself and people around me.

(Classic selfie after a therapy session.)

In March I got a greenhouse. A lovely greenhouse that made me happy and where I grew so many things for about seven months this year. I am yet to edit a video that I filmed of the whole process. It was great to experiment with different vegetables and growing sunflowers again. I cannot say the results were enourmous but I have learnt a lot and to be honest I just really enjoyed looking after the plants, watering them every day and having this little routine for myself. Plus on the hottest day of the year I filled a plastic container with cold water for a toad who was a regular in my garden and they loved it. I think that was one of the best things that happened to me this year. I am telling you that toad really liked me. Talking about my garden is really making me excited for next year and I just want to feel hot and sweaty in a greenhouse where it smells like tomatoes. I grew way too many things so and I donated some of my plants to a friend who has an allotment. It was amazing to see his results. I have applied for an allotment myself so wish me luck! It can take several years to get one so I don't think I will have it by this summer.

I dyed my hair brown for the first time in forever and it still feels a little bizzare now after 13 years of having all different colours. It really made me realise how anonymous it makes you though and people just don't spot me that easily anymore! I could just become a spy.

Me and my best friend Sabina went to Amsterdam in April specifically to visit their famous tulip fields. That was such a nice experience and we were really lucky with the weather. We cycled along the fields and it was so lovely to do something like that together especially since she hates cycling. We also got lost, went to a private field by an accident and really hurt our butts because of those horrible bike seats! I  also enjoyed going on a boat tour in the city, it is such a touristy thing but I just really love the Dutch architecture and you get to see a really big part of Amsterdam. This time I really fell in love with the city. And I even made a new friend there via instagram who I went to a botanical garden with.

At the beginning of this year I was really hard on myself about my ability to speak Spanish. I spoke about this at therapy a lot and I imagine not many people go to therapy because they are frustrated with their ability to speak another language. But to me not being able to speak Spanish was a failure. It was years since I done a little bit of Spanish at college and still I wasn't any better if not worse. I complained and complained to my therapist about it and finally I booked myself for a one week super-intensive course in Málaga. I decided to go for the course and then spend a few more days in Andalusia. In a way this was probably the most important ten days of the whole year in terms of travelling, language developement and personal growth. I really treated myself there and booked myself a nice studio with a rooftop pool. I went out for dinner in restaurants every night. It was great and just what I needed after those long hours at school. It was also really intense and my brain was not at all ready for all that studying. There were times when I was really sad. I am drawing a comic about it so I don't want to go too much into the detail about this trip. When it's ready I will announce it on my instagram and you will be able to get a copy then if you want to know more.

Soon after I got back from Spain I found myself a brilliant Spanish teacher who I now consider my friend. Thanks to her I also discovered Casa Azul, a local Mexican restaurant run by amazing people where I nowadays host Spanish mornings. We eat tacos and speak in Spanish. I would have never dreamed that I was going to be a part of such a nice little community. If you are reading this and you are thinking about learning Spanish and you live in Brighton please message me, it would be great to have you there. We meet every Saturday at 11am and there are people from latin America, Spain, England and other places.

I also made new friends through Bumble, it is an app famous for dating but there is also a friend category and I was really lucky to meet some nice girls from different countries who live in Brighton and nearby towns. It is a really nice way to make new friends so try it wherever you are! Maybe you'll meet someone nice.

I had some sad times but at the same time happy times back home in Czech and I spent a big part of my summer there swimming in the pool and enjoying the sunshine. I also went to Edinburgh for a few days to see some comedy during Fringe festival with a friend. Then in September I went on a really nice holiday to Gran Canaria with my boyfried. It was my first time visiting an island (I live in Britain, yes, but I mean like a nice warm island not a cold windy one) and we did so many activities. We went cycling, surfing and walked around a lot, swum in the sea and I also went running. I kinda enjoyed running in the summer, I might try that again soon. No promises though! And the best thing about this holiday for me was snorkeling. I reaaally love snorkeling and I had no idea that it was my thing. I love fish and looking at their silly faces upclose is the best thing ever. I want to do more and will be choosing my beach holidays based on snorkeling options from now on.

As if that wasn't enough holidays for one year I also went to Ireland for a week with a friend where I spent time in the cities, on trains, in nature and just doing all sorts of things. I should probably do a seperate posts about each of my trips to be honest. I have so many photos and so many different travel tips to share with you.

There were so so many daytrips to London this year. I really love that city and it has so much to offer to literally anybody. You could be into anything and you will find places that you will love if you look past the tourist attractions. I went to flower and food markets, I saw theatre shows and exhibitions, I really enjoyed London. It is where I feel happy and like I am part of something. I love running away to Brighton into a busy city.

In terms of blog and opportunities it was another great year for me and I already have some stuff lined up for January which I am super excited for.

Well, I am grateful and quite shocked if you made it to the end of this long waffle. I hope you read it all because there will be a test.

Goals for next year:

1.Get better at finishing projects that you've started.

2. Drink more water.

3. Go to bed at midnight the latest.

4. Continue to work on Spanish.

5. Eat regularly during the day.

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Thank you!